Concerns, uncertainty, and worry plagued me for weeks. I prayed for clarity. Finally, things started lining up and I felt like I had a decent handle on things. At least I was confident in my place and my next steps. Though it wasn’t perfect and I didn’t have all the answers, I felt at peace.
Then, just a few days later, one phone call sent me spinning back into the same uncertainty and worry. My brain fogged. I felt like crying. I went into the bedroom hoping release of emotion would sharpen my vision, but only a few tears came, and the fog didn’t lift.
I tried to manage my scattered thoughts. I brought to mind a verse. “Finally, brothers, whatever is TRUE…think about those things” (Philippians 4). I sifted through what I knew to be true compared to worry or assumption. That helped a bit, but I still found myself praying, “God, please give me clarity!”
I’d been asking for clarity for a while over several issues. “Clarity” became my prayer buzzword.
I sat down with my cappuccino that day and opened a book of inspirational stories my mom had given me. (The Beauty of Grace is as beautiful as the cover shows. Every time I read one of the stories, it brings such peace to my soul.)
This particular devotional spoke as directly to my concern as possible, priming me for the Scripture at the end, probably a mere afterthought:
“For God is not the author of confusion but of peace” (1 Corinthians 14:33).
The verse first tells us first what trait is not a characteristic of God, followed by the opposite characteristic that does describe God.
But what is the opposite of confusion? my mind immediately considered. Well, the opposite of confusion isn’t peace. In my mind, and according to my thesaurus, the opposite of confusion is clarity.
I had been confused; I desired clarity.
But in this verse, the contrasting characteristic to confusion is not clarity, but peace.
Perhaps I had been praying for the wrong thing. Not that praying for clarity is wrong. But in my soul I sensed that God wanted me to seek His peace, even if I didn’t have clarity…
…peace that since I had been praying for His will and had been open to His direction, it would come in the right time. I need not fret about this confusion because God didn’t author my confusion.
I needed to be at peace that I didn’t have the answers yet. I needed to be at peace that if answers were required, God would give them to me when the time is right as I continued to seek Him. Until then, I could rest in the peace of God over uncertain circumstances.